we all lose track

19 Feb

Let’s go back to basics. If there is a God in the world, and if this God is intimately and constantly involved in our lives. If that same God loves us and cares for us more and better than any parent could do then why do we live our lives as if He doesn’t exist? Why do we automatically assume that the outcome events is because ‘we did it’ or ‘they did it’ or as if the world operates by some form of pre-programmed logic? Why do we live our lives as if we are already one foot in the grave?

OK forget about the ‘we’. I’m just talking about me. Religion, as I have discovered, can lead to a lot of things but not necessarily to God. I was there – I tried t wholeheartedly and was willing to live on ‘blind faith’ in so many aspects of my life until one day I realized that the religious path had simply led me to a whole deal of hearbreak. It was time to stop running to rabbis and gurus and trusting the ‘system’ knew what was right for me. It was time to really look for Hashem. The Hashem inside of me. The Hashem who has given me a heart and mind to understand, to intuit, to grasp and to feel. And once I found the real God, I didn’t need religion any more. I’m not angry or bitter, I’m just not willing to invest in a bankrupt system. God is alive, He’s here and He’s waiting for us.

So why is it that I lose Him? Where is He when I need Him? The minute I get bogged down in problems (of which I have my fair share, believe me) I run away from Him – I run into my plans, into my thoughts, into my own scheme of twisted logic.

I must close my eyes and imagine a dimension that goes far beyond my limited logic, of a love that is far beyond my ability to comprehend and hold out my hand to my Aba. He is never far away.

“sing Oh daughter of Zion! Sound the trumpet, O Israel! Be glad and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem! Hashem has removed your judgements. He has cleared away your enemy.The King of Israel, Hashem is in your midst, and you will never again fear evil.’ (Zefania 3:14)

 

 

 

 

 

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