the ability to accept

22 Feb

I got some news that is going to disappoint my daughter today. Her disappointments are mine also. It’s not the first time she’s been rejected and my demons are hard at work. Oh, which ones?

‘You’re a useless mother’ demon – she was rejected because you didn’t raise her properly

‘It’s all your fault’ demon – the guilt trap is there, like a hole waiting to swallow me up.

‘what will be?’ demon. If my daughter isn’t accepted her, and continues to be rejected and feel unsucessful, then what will be with her? It’s a demon, just like the rest of them.

‘I want to protect my precious daughter’ demon. All mothers don’t want to see their kids go through pain and disappointment, even though this is an inevitable, even precious part of life’s processes. So that means I haven’t told her yet.

 

Ok so I have four demons haunting me just on one issue; an issue that in the long course of things is insignificant. Deep down inside, I am confident that my daughter will move on to better things.

So how do I defend myself from them? Well, first of all, I have to accept. No fighting (there are times to fight, I’m not saying otherwise but I feel that this is not one of them). God in his wisdom knows what is good for this child, and this opportunity was not for her good. Accept it in peace.

Then I have to realise, this is not personal. This is not anything to do with me. She did her best, I did my best. I had the tools that God gave me at the time that have lead me to where I am today.

Then I have to also be unafraid. Unafraid to face the truth, to tell the truth and to face up to a situation that isn’t as  comfortable as I’d like it to be. I’m not alone. He is with me.

God, give me the ability to accept. Give me the peace of mind to do what is right, without guilt, without fear. (Isiah 31:4)

כִּי כֹה אָמַר-יְהוָה אֵלַי כַּאֲשֶׁר יֶהְגֶּה הָאַרְיֵה וְהַכְּפִיר עַל-טַרְפּוֹ, אֲשֶׁר יִקָּרֵא עָלָיו מְלֹא רֹעִים, מִקּוֹלָם לֹא יֵחָת, וּמֵהֲמוֹנָם לֹא יַעֲנֶה; כֵּן, יֵרֵד יְהוָה צְבָאוֹת, לִצְבֹּא עַל-הַר-צִיּוֹן, וְעַל-גִּבְעָתָהּ.  ה כְּצִפֳּרִים עָפוֹת–כֵּן יָגֵן יְהוָה צְבָאוֹת, עַל-יְרוּשָׁלִָם; גָּנוֹן וְהִצִּיל, פָּסֹחַ וְהִמְלִיט. ו שׁוּבוּ, לַאֲשֶׁר הֶעְמִיקוּ סָרָה–בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל..

4 For thus saith the LORD unto me: Like as the lion, or the young lion, growling over his prey, though a multitude of shepherds be called forth against him, will not be dismayed at their voice, nor abase himself for the noise of them; so will the LORD of hosts come down to fight upon mount Zion, and upon the hill thereof. 5 As birds hovering, so will the LORD of hosts protect Jerusalem; He will deliver it as He protecteth it, He will rescue it as He passeth over. 6 Turn ye unto Him against whom ye have deeply rebelled, O children of Israel. 


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