quietly but boldly

25 Apr

I am trying to figure it out, to sort and divide. To put my ego aside (is it possible?) and to try to act according to what God wants. The feeling of truth and quietness is inside of me, but it can so easily get blended with my egotistical drives in a subtle way. I need to define and refine.

God wants me to do it. I know that. To stand in front of those who are against me and speak the truth, without fear and without anger and without using God as a justification for my own personal needs. And it can only come from quietness.

What has happened to all of us? I feel that there is a madness that is overtaking the Jewish people – pressures to conform, pressures to give in and losing the wood for the trees. And for those who are not busy trying to prove their ‘rightness’ there are the others who are so busy with themselves that they are scarcely aware of the world around them. We are all so busy trying to prove that we’re RIGHT. What about Hashem? Isn’t he the one we should be seeking? When will we come in front of Him and say ‘I really don’t know the answers. You’ll have to guide me.’ And until that day we are in a huge battle of egos, wills, righteousness and zealousness (from left to right) that leaves no space for His presence.

That’s what I’m seeking. When He is with me, I know it. My fear drifts away and I come face to face with truth, the real truth.

 

God I pray that you should give me courage, courage to act according to that deep inner intuition that knows what’s right. Courage to listen to Your voice, courage to speak out against evil. Don’t leave me, whatever You do.

 

Jeremiah 22 verse 7

“So then, the days are coming,” declares the LORD, “when people will no longer say, ‘As surely as the LORD lives, who brought the Israelites up out of Egypt,’ 8 but they will say, ‘As surely as the LORD lives, who brought the descendants of Israel up out of the land of the north and out of all the countries where he had banished them.’ Then they will live in their own land.”

9 Concerning the prophets:

My heart is broken within me;
all my bones tremble.
I am like a drunken man,
like a strong man overcome by wine,
because of the LORD
and his holy words.
10 The land is full of adulterers;
because of the curse[b] the land lies parched
and the pastures in the wilderness are withered.
The prophets follow an evil course
and use their power unjustly.

11 “Both prophet and priest are godless;
even in my temple I find their wickedness,”
declares the LORD.
12 “Therefore their path will become slippery;
they will be banished to darkness
and there they will fall.
I will bring disaster on them
in the year they are punished,”
declares the LORD.

 

 

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