thoughts on Shavuot

26 May

The more I see cheesecake the less I want to eat it. I don’t think this is necessarily coming from a place of taste (or my digestion) but more from a spiritual place.

God gave us his festivals for him to be with us. Instead we are with our cheesecake. Sorry, we’re with our ‘torah learning’ which isn’t any better.

Wherever I go, whatever snippets of conversation I hear….it’s nothing to do with him!

Yes, yes the self-assured religious will say, it’s automatic. You do a ‘mitzvah’ and you clock on another point to God. But how can you claim anything if you have no idea who he is or what he wants from you?

I refuse to be the automat that does and gets into the spirit of things just because those around me are doing it. God, you know me better than anyone else and I know that there is no better place than by your side. And I feel that by your side is not at a chalavi smorgasbrod, nor is it in synagogue, nor is it at kiddush…..it is when I feel that this is what you want from me.

16 “So do not pray for this people nor offer any plea or petition for them; do not plead with me, for I will not listen to you. 17 Do you not see what they are doing in the towns of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem? 18 The children gather wood, the fathers light the fire, and the women knead the dough and make cakes to offer to the Queen of Heaven. They pour out drink offerings to other gods to arouse my anger. 19 But am I the one they are provoking? declares the Lord. Are they not rather harming themselves, to their own shame? (jeremiah 7)

Rather I will sit in quietness and contemplate where you wish me to go. This is the chag habikurim, the chag of first fruits, I will offer to you myself, oh God, and ask you to direct me according to your will. And even if the offerings I must give are harder to give up than giving to the ‘Queen of Heaven’ I ask you to give me the strength to do what is right, in your spirit. And even if this means that I feel distant and cut off from those around me, I won’t take place in this Godless facade.

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