partnership and marriage

17 May

My partner of 2 years and I have ‘tied the knot’ – we declared our intent in front of a respectable audience, signed a contractual agreement and exchanged rings. It was a modest affair; everyone brought a dish and there was a genuine willingness to bring God into the picture, and for us, that was enough.

So we have joint names, joint accounts, , a joint roof – indeed there is very little that we don’t share. No, we have not asked permission from the rabbinate to give their ‘seal of approval’ over our relationship and we do not intend to. We both feel strongly that to bring an institution that is outdated, corrupt and in love with its own power will only serve to ‘treif’ our relationship, God forbid.

Our ‘marriage’ has not come from massive pomp and ceremony, it was merely a concretization of what already is – a willingness to find God together, and to be with Him together.

It was almost a polaric opposite of my first marriage, where everything was perfectly coordinated and organized – a fairytale wedding to remember. But our marriage was based some kind of vain notion that if you go through all the motions and do it right, then everything will come together, somehow (which it didn’t).

My husband and I have walked into this with our eyes wide open, acutely aware of the other’s failures and inconsistencies (and how much they often mirror our own). We are also aware that being married and being together with God is a contract that needs constant renewing. We initially wanted the contract to automatically expire each year unless we renew it – it’s just legally a bit hard to enforce. But the idea is still with us.

No relationship is a ‘given’. It is simply given to us by God. 

I thank God for all of his gifts.

 

 

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